Rent Space
by Darci Lang, Speaker and Best-Selling Author
I had a beautiful woman in a presentation say to me, "I do not let negative people rent space in my head." I had a chance to practice that this week.
You know at the grocery store how they have magazines before you head into the line to put your groceries on the conveyor belt? I was in line behind a woman who was flipping through a magazine. I waited for a few moments while she looked but I couldn't tell if she was in the line or just magazine shopping. There was a long space between her and the conveyor belt and the woman ahead of her was already paying for her groceries. So assessing the situation, I politely asked, "Are you in line?"
She snapped her head around and very forcefully said, "YES. Can't I just pick my magazine first?" I was completely taken back. As politely as I could muster, I said, "Of course, I just wasn't sure." She snapped back, "Well you can just be more patient!"
The woman waiting behind me whispered in my ear, "What's her problem?" Which made me feel good. I wasn't the only one thinking that she indeed had a problem.
As I watched her unload her groceries I decided I had two choices. A 90% one and a 10% one. The 10% one was I could say something rude back to her. I could feel angry at her (which I did) and embarrassed (which I was) at the way she talked to me. I could use up my energy as I planned the perfect response as she walked away. Something like, "Enjoy your magazine!"
Or I could choose a 90% reaction. Was it okay that she was rude? Of course not but I only have control over me and my reaction to her. Since my 2013 theme is "breathe", I took a deep breath and chose kindness. I calmed down by reminding myself I have no idea why she is acting that way. I prayed she wasn't depressed. I prayed that whatever made her so upset to yell at me over a magazine she would deal with. I took to heart that maybe I did need to breathe and slow down a bit more. Maybe I did need to practice more patience and she in her unloving way reminded me of that.
In choosing a 90% response, I did not allow this woman to rent space. Because I am pretty sure she did not go home worried about how she treated me. I left the grocery store full again. I did not allow a negative person to win. Who's renting space in your head?
PS
Did you watch Brandon's behavior on Survivor this past week? I hope his group can not let him rent any space in their head now he is gone!
