I think our expectations of the ones we love get in the way of us seeing them through a 90% lens. The expectations are the 10%s. I am driving home from an unusually busy week that involved hours and hours of driving in - 30 conditions, staying in motels and unloading book boxes in cold parking lots.
When I arrive home, my expectation is that my family would leap off the couch and rush to the door pouring out their 90% gratitude for how hard I had worked that week. I got a quick greeting at the door but everyone was in a big hurry to get back to watch the Olympics. So I gave them the "you need to appreciate me more" speech.
Our oh-so-smart Jayda says, "Mom, we do appreciate you but don't you love your job, don't you love driving, don't you love being alone?" Good points.
Why did I expect that I would get a round of gushing appreciation? Isn't my pride for my work enough? I do love my job, I do love driving (even in -30) and I do love being alone.
So this week I traveled hours, stayed in motels and unloaded boxes. But this week was different; when I arrived home I didn't have any expectations. I arrived home happy to see my family and saved them the speech.
The expectations we have for loved ones are what cause us to feel disappointed; not our loved ones. Do I know my family loves and appreciates me? Of course.
Isn't that enough? Sure it's nice to hear it sometimes, but why do I expect to hear it every time?
So this Valentine's Day give your spouse, partners and family the gift of no expectations. Whatever they do to show you that they love you is perfect. Even if it is not what you expected it would be.
