Anyone who knows me well knows I have had a bit of a 10% summer. I have had a few events that challenged my ability to see the 90%s.

I never told the story more than three times. If you have heard me speak, you know I have a three times complain rule. I don’t complain about anything more than three times without changing something. I complained three times, then I “laid that sucker out”. I asked myself if this was something I could change and if so – I changed it. If not, I accepted it. I looked at my life through a lens which focused on: “This is my new normal, my new reality. What do I need to do to adjust to it and be as happy as I can be?”

I then changed the way I told the story. I stopped saying, “What a tough summer.” and “ I hope I don’t have a summer like that again.” etc. I changed the words to: “So much learning and growing.” and “What a great summer to practice what I preach.”

I took ruthless care of myself. If you are dealing with depleting situations or depleting people, you have to keep yourself “full”. I asked myself often, “Is what I am about to eat, watch, read or do something that is going to make me feel better or worse?” I did the things that made me feel better.  I breathed deeply, prayed and meditated. I never missed an acupuncture appointment.  One depleted person dealing with another depleted person or difficult situation never ends well.

I hung out with great people. We really need to guard ourselves from toxic negative people and wherever we can we need to surround ourselves with a circle of people who are positive and loving.

I smiled even when I didn’t feel like smiling. Something about walking around with a smile on your face really does turn your day around. One morning in an elevator I had a man tell me I was “entirely too happy for 7am.”  

I did a ton of affirmations. I turned every 10% negative thought into a 90% positive affirmation. If I felt overwhelmed, I said, “I know I have in me what I need to cope.” If I felt fear, I would turn that into, “I feel safe and fearless”. If I felt anger, I would say, “I feel forgiving and peaceful.” I would recite those many times in a day until I could feel those positive feelings.

Most importantly, I was thankful for what was good. In this month of Thanksgiving, I am spending my days being thankful for every little 90% thing.  Being thankful for the basics always resets me -- a family to love, my health, my career, a roof over my head, a deck to sit and breath on, food in my fridge, our playful kitty Lilly, the birds in the feeder and a free, safe city with a beautiful lake to walk around.

We all have times in our lives that are 10% times. It is very important we do not get stuck there. We need to regroup and reset ourselves to focus on the 90%s.