In the book, "Change your Brain Change Your Life", Dr. Amen asks two questions when it comes to all areas of our life, “What do you want? “ and “Does your behaviour get you what you want?” So I have been thinking about the answers to these two questions during this Christmas season.

“What do I want?” I want a stress-free, happy, peaceful Christmas. “Is my behaviour getting me what I want?” 90% of the time… yes.

I want ….

Fun, stress-free, happy, peaceful meals at our home. So my behaviour has changed. I don’t do it all anymore. All the meals I host are huge potluck adventures. I will cook a dish or two but the visiting family members happily contribute big portions to that meal so I am not stressed out cooking it all. No one minds contributing! Just because your mom could do it all, doesn’t mean we have to.

I want to visit with the people I love and are in my home visiting.

My behaviour is… Paper plates are a must. They have beautiful Christmas ones. I promise I will help the environment in many other ways but I would rather visit after than wash dishes all night.

I don’t want to be going store to store trying to find the perfect gift.

My behaviour is …. Gift cards replace 90% of the gifts we still buy. And I stay home in my warm house.

I want to feel charitable and give back for my life.

My behaviour is… I donate money instead. We have eliminated most of our gift giving and have replaced that money spent with donations to charity.

I don’t want to bake.

My behaviour…. I buy all of my baking. I know some of you still really like to bake but is this behaviour adding stress or peace?

I want to be known as a loving person to visit.

My behaviour is to choose to see my family members through my 90% lens. I know Christmas can bring together 10% people you don’t necessarily want to spent time with but if you “want” a peaceful Christmas only you can change your behaviour to make that happen.

Merry Christmas!